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Dating fatherless man

Another example is that of the eternal seductress, who needs to remain in control by seducing the man and never actually involving her own feelings.

A slightly more difficult to recognize version of the same scenario is played out by the woman who consistently has relationships with married men who never leave their respective wives for her.

Seeing the Self Reflected Optimally, a little girl needs to see herself reflected in the love she sees for herself in her father's eyes.

The Multi-faceted Arena of Relationships Perhaps the arena in which the most painful process of learning how to deal with the early lack of a father is played out is in that of relationships.

Little girls who live without a father do so not only due to death, abandonment, or divorce, but also due to physically present fathers but who are emotionally absent, or ill over a lengthy period of time in some way (clinical depression, terminal disease, etc.), or because the father is a workaholic, or because in some fashion the father is a disappointment to the daughter, as might be the case in a weak or ineffectual father.

Such differing types of absence in the girl's life may have major consequences of varying kinds, since a healthy emotional and socio-psychological developmental trajectory in the early years of life does require some type of positive paternal role model.

This is how she develops what Jungians would call her 'animus,' her counter-sexual self; her masculine self, which will help her be proactive, productive, and creative in the outer world as she grows into adulthood.

If, however, the little girl does not have such a relationship with the father, if she sees rejection or emotional coldness or withdrawal in him, or if he simply is not available at all, her sense of self will be tainted, her self confidence warped or non-existent, her portrait of a loving relationship may be distorted or dysfunctional, and she may find herself - no matter how pretty, vivacious, lovable, funny, or intelligent - lacking in appeal.

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On an unconscious level this suits her just fine because it gives her the perfect excuse never to have to commit herself totally.

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